Of Blogging and Genetics' Dinner!

Okay, fine.

I know, that I haven't been blogging properly for the longest time ages. All my posts are rather ramblings of intuitive thoughts on the spot, rather than well constructed seeds of the mind.

When you are basically so absorbed with so many things around you, I guess blogging takes a back seat.

From now on, my blogging style is going to be very random ramblings that I feel like saying because obviously I don't have time to edit or draft my entries! Everything is going to be something I conjure up at the spur at the moment; basically what's going on in my head!

Actually, the reason why I have a blog is

1. for cathartic reasons
2. for people to update on me

The Cathartic reason pretty much sums it all up because I need somewhere to vent my feelings on. And yes, having audiences makes it even more tempting because now you know someone's reading them!

For the Update reason.. I do it because I get updates from blogs as well. That girl from the next door class, or the pretty junior or someone I used to have a crush on - I get these people random updates from their blogs. It's entertaining to read about updates from people you know.

But as apparent as my blog is for updating people, I actually quite very much dislike the fact that people close to me are reading my entries. WHY? Very obvious right? Since my life involves them more often, there are bound to be some kind of tension should there be any "offensive" posts about them, right?

And then, the questions come - you're blogging about something what other people wants to read - just to avoid that crucial tension and jeopardizing relationships. So is it really cathartic anymore since you minded every single word, every single sentence you construct as not to offend anyone in your circle?

I guess the obvious answer would be no, right?

And this is what blogging has become to me. From a loyal medium where I can be truly myself to the point of cursing and venting my frustations, it has finally become a leisurely component of where I know a certain audience awaits updates from me.

You know this certain who-who is reading you, so you minded everything you write to the point it becomes fake. Because you're writing what you want them to perceive; not necessarily you anymore.

It has a become a BURDEN.

No, I have not have plans on quitting blogging yet since I always find some certain paths to go back to blogging despite telling myself, I am not happy with how the way things go anymore.

But less entries, less personal indulgences, less enthusiasm?

YES. Expect that coming.

Oh well, it is supposed to be a crazy, emotionally demoralised post about bloggin but hey, I guess I shall not waste the post and so here are my Genetics' Night Dinner at Crystal Crown, PJ pictures!

Xue Fen, me and Joel!

Yien, Marianne and me! Hands of kaypoh coursemates..

These are my house mates (XHRC) who are my coursemates as well, who are also from my hometown! My my.. Theresians! I must say, sorry to all the 3sians, but staying with you guys (+ Gilda) made me changed my perspective on 3sians completely!

(St. Theresa's a famous all-girl school in my hometown or in short St. 3).

*sorry, had a few bad encounters with 3sians during my high school times. Bad of me to stereotype all*

Don't you think Yien looked completely adorable? She's nicknamed Korean Girl by some of us in XHRC! I can understand lo! She got the exact complexion Korean girls have! Those fair, flawless skin! And she looked so sweet that nite!!!

Marianne looked nice that night too!

And as for me, hrmm.. you people judge yourself la hor?

The gang of girls

Nope, this is not my gang or clique I hang out with. My clique actually only consists of 3 of us, lol! Vera, WY and me nia... I think we're sort of like social outcasts sometimes because we can really survive with only three of us only!

But I have very nice coursemates, so they don't really like pulaukan us or something like that.

BTW, don't you think the girl in cheongsam (her name's Jyven) looked totally divine?

She's very fashionable, always going to class wearing a tad more flashy than the rest of us (baby-tees + jeans); so to see her tone it down for the dinner and looking totally divine for the dinner!

This is my clique! Me, WY and Vera!

Why the 3 of us are very ngam key is because we speak Engalish as our main medium of interaction. Vera's not a banana, as opposed to me and WY but she's so accustomed to speaking with me in Engalish since high school days (Vera's my classmate since F4) so it's just natural we speak Engalish la.

I know I make it sounds like it's wrong to speak in Engalish but then, through most Chineses' eyes, when we don't converse in Chinese means we are incapable of speaking in Chinese, that's why we speak Engalish la.

I am very used to be called /teased / suan-ed a banana (although it still offends me); but I pity Vera! Because she hangs out with us and speak Engalish all the time, people always assumed she's a banana as well!

*and then this is the part where she comes in and kicked ass with her supremacy in Chinese lol yea you ppl better gape in awe of her greatness lolz*

My fwen, Joel

Gilda the sunshine saw this pic in my camera and said that this pic looked like both of us are "bergerek" (coupling ah.. got such word in English?). I was so panicky after her comments because I was terrified that the BoyNextDoor will murder me; so I asked him to come online and "evaluate" the pic for me!

And lucky me, he said it's ok wad. Phew! Somemore added, since I am more ang-moh kuan, so it's ok? wth does that means?

Okay, I totally don't see this coming! I always take photos like this with my other male friends ok, obviously different people have different perceptions on how far social stigmas should go.

Ok, next time must control myself. BAH!

Oh yeah, did I told you out of the 5 persons that I showed my Genetics pictures to, 5 of them say Joel is cute!!??

So this is the things they say when you take people by your side for granted... (been coursemates with him for 3 years and didn't know that he's such a candy to other people's eyes...)

Nah.. more cute Joel..

My cute senpai

Senpai Yat Yuen(senpai = senior in Jap, yesh?) is a direct senior of mine ok! He's a senior from my high school, Green Road SS (yea, GRSS rocks!) and he's also a senior in the same division as me!

Now doing his Masters, and so coincidentally, a senior of WY (same lab) so she's always telling me stories about him lol lol lol lol!

I have this housemate, Joo Ming who's also my senior from my high school. I totally looked up to Joo Ming ok because he's always in the top 3 of the whole form and then coincidentally hor, he and this Yat Yuen sat next to each other in Form 6! Kah kah... (means more stories la!)

And then Joo Ming told me that this senpai Yat Yuen ah, last time in F6 ah, got so many girls like him wan ok! Wah rao eh..! I never thought...

So a bit paiseh when he asked for a picture together (I initially wanted to ask him for one, but then such a famous amos person, I also malu k? I was overjoyed when he asked me for one leh!).
He, like Joo Ming also genius one because he got straight A's for STPM but then that year was just a bad year. He was one of the 126 straight A's students who didn't got into medic despite scoring so well.

And sama division with me somemore (scored 1A nia me, God I do not deserve, I do not deserve this at all..)

We are bored so this is a pic of me and Marianne while waiting for driver cute Joel to finish up!

The kindest soul on the whole entire planet

SHE WILL HELP YOU NO MATTER WHAT. I tell you, if you want to know how an angel looked like, this is the nearest you can get!

I know the dress looked nice on me, but please compliment the dress ok! I have the straightest ruler body ever and for a dress to successfully accentuate my non-existent curves, THAT'S A GOOD DRESS!

And sadly, this dress belongs to Gilda the sunshine ok, not me! *so tell her it's nice, I just borrowed from her!*

Vera, me and HongKai

My close friends in first year had the hugest crush on HK *no further comments or I'm going to get butchered*. When they found out me and him were in the same division, they basically alienated me for an hour or so because they were so envious lolz.

Vera, we made it!

Both of us came in because we wanted to do BioTech but switched our priorities when we were in first year (2nd year then you get to choose which division you want to go to). And somemore, we only discuss which division we wanted to do AFTER we handed in our forms (prior to that, no discussions about our choices, we just assumed the other one wanted BioTech)!

And surprise surprise, both of us put Genetics as first choice!

On my make up, actually this is the first time I tried making smoky eyes ok I failed so terribly the last times I tried. I was so panicky I kept drawing extra lines over my lids wtf I am lidis. I kept adding shadow to my lids because I am scared I get the neither here nor there effect.

And after I am done, I was thinking - shit shit shit do I look trashy? What if people said I looked like panda or o-ba-kong (black eye)? Do I look slutty shit shit make up too thick or not damn it damn it

And obviously there's just too little time to do anything because Joel's coming any minute now and taking off the eye makeup is already tedious what more applying them all over again..

So at last, after the 254th looking at the mirror and trying to pacify myself that it's ok, it's ok, it's not that bad la - I decided I just have to make it happen. You know, like models? When the thing actually don't work for you but you just have to try to make it work?

Yea, that kind of crap. And so, throughout the dinner I kept trying to enjoy myself and not mind myself about how absolutely crappy my makeup was.

BUT I feel totally overjoyed because some people actually made the compliments that I looked nice! *either that or they're so unaccustomed to seeing me in make-up that any amount of make-up on me is nice to them*

*But I still feel that my makeup's not that perfect la just accentuate my eyes better*

Last but not least,

Of cos, with my Genetics' coursemates!

Not all la, some missing in actions wth

I love all of you! Muahhzzz...

*sad that this has come to an end.. while I never doubt that most of us will lose touch of each other, thank you for the memories, thank you for the funny moments and the conflicts. I feel blessed to share so much with all of you..!*

Chicas and me when I return to XHRC

End of story I am tired this is such a long post wth ok not going to update for ages bye bye