Forget TVB, here comes blogs' drama!

First, it was Xiaxue vs DawnYang.

Where XX supposedly say something about how she hated being compared to DY, because she thinks that while she has been quite honest and direct in her life as a blogger; DY on the other hand projects everything she has been against.

XX openly revealed of her nose job and was one of the first (I reckoned) of the "professional bloggers" who termed that any posts which are sponsored should be termed advertorial as not to delude blog readers.

DY was highly speculated to have undergone plastic surgery following some photos from younger days but she denied it. And XX hated the fact that DY accepts endorsements and advertorials without further checking (which XX supposed was a responsible thing that a blogger should do for adverts).

I highly supported XX on this, because I know of the fact that DY did endorsed this certain website who in the end, scammed everyone who used their service. She personally introduced the website and even did a quite convincing post on their service. And what was worse, she did not showed any remorse and didn't even helped in the victims' plight.

Her blog is infested with all these messy adverts everywhere and I am pretty much sure she is endorsing Moon Sparkle by Escada perfume since she kept heaping on praises on it and mentioning it as much as she can. Even someone who have adoration for something wouldn't try to mention it as much as she did.

And DY bloody did not mention anything about she's endorsing Moon Sparkle (she's being paid for it) but acted as if she genuinely liked the perfume in real life. Her shameless act pretty much disgusts me and I know Team XX is the team to be.

Of course then, DY's newest lies were exposed.

--------------------------

AND THEN, talking about near back to home, two girls started to fight it out in blogosphere over our beloved KennySia.

His (ex?) gf and his close female acquaintance started a cat fight online and disputed each other. I started to wonder as to what extent would these two stake for the sake of (supposedly) KennySia's heart?

I hate cat fights, especially over a guy because the bloody guy can end all this and just determine his companion, end of story.

Why let the claws and skeletons out of the closet for?

So there you go. My opinion?

Stop staking it out on each other, Christine and Samantha. The truth is? Kenny's indecisive and he's watching back thinking which better girl should he be with (total guess).

IF HE LOVE ONE OF YOU ENOUGH, HE WOULD HAVE STAYED/GO WITH YOU.

And no, no man is worth staying with once he cheated. Because if he did it once, he can do it again. A relationship is based on many things, among one of the most important are trust and loyalty. He had betrayed that, Samantha. How can you lived with that after what's he's done? The trust is broken.

--------------------

CONCLUSION IS FOLKS, go catch the drama while it's still hot (before they take down the posts). Don't say I don't share k.

Untitled

Should there be a little lullaby in the background,

Would it put me to sleep or awaken me?

How bright should a rainbow be to allow a smile?

How significant is a bear hug?

.....

You make me sick

That's right.

Until you realize which one is priority and which one is not, I suggest you head to the nearest loo and stick your head in it.

Because I bloody am done with being your doormat.

Everybody has a sense of dignity, ego and space to keep them going. It's what made them them.

YOU - not being to understand that AND crossing the limit at that. Invasion of MY dignity - yes, you make me sick indeed.

An advice - FREAKING GROW UP.

Pick a Star

Time flew by real fast.

I am now thinking of whether whatever that I have been doing is worth all the 3 months I have been spending being laid-back and planning spontaneous trips.

I am also reevaluating myself of whether I am worthy enough to be anything. Trying to be a better person but the outside society doesn't help it; people can be quite hostile and disregard of your honest endeavor.

I think to myself of the worst ever period that I experienced; of the emotional angst and turmoil that still remained a silent secret to many and asked myself of whether I was worthy to being called "making a mistake".

I feel like a hollow conical flask.

Able to take in so much, but practically hollow inside.

I wanna go back to the best memories in life, where I felt so loved and so welcomed. By everyone.

I realize that I feel so until Form 6 comes, and there is where much despair and wrath comes about in my life.

Pray Suzie pray.

Tag Team

I hate being tagged!

Not because I just hate the feeling of completing another Q and A sessions where you fully reveal to the world of a weirdo you are, it's just that I always explained panjang lebar something (see? like now la!) and then, I think tags are supposed to be something of short answers or even better, AN ANSWER only.

Haih. Fine, I'll do it before I kena buang batu by Cibol because I haven't been blogging frequently anything anyways!

1. Where is your cell phone? Errr.. where is it ah?
2. Your significant other? Zac Efron My BF of 4 1/2 years!
3. Your hair? Boring black black black (somebody sponsor me hair coloring pls!)
4. Your mother? Is the Best Cook on Earth. It's a statement and no, you cannot argue with me on that. Case closed.
5. Your father? Is taller than me. So I'm officially the midget in the family. wtf
6. Your favorite thing? BF count as thing ah?
7. Your dream last night? I got a wardrobe full of nice clothes woopppeddo!
8 Your favorite drink? Kalimatsiiii (or however it is spelt)
9. Your dream/goal? Get a decent job and be happy happy happy at life
10. The room you’re in? My room!
11. Your hobby? MJ! Badminton! Blog hoppings!
12. Your fear? Being alone
13. Where do you want to be in 6 year? Here! (but with more achievements and $$$ wtf)
14. What you’re not? Social butterfly
15. Muffins? Blueberries!
16. One of your wish list items? Designer bag!
17. Where you grew up? Kuching!
18. The last thing you did? Put on face mask
19. What are you wearing? Grey vintage top tucked into my TopShop shorts
20. Favorite gadget? My laptop?
21. Your pets? None. :(
22. Your computer? Has served me for 1 year.
23. Your mood? Waiting for the rest of the bummers to wake up (wtf it's 2:46 people!)
24. Missing someone? my UM kakis
25. Your car? what car are you talking about
26. Something you’re not wearing? That sexy RM 526 Guess dress that I want.
27. Favourite store? Colours (in KL *sad sad sad*), MNG
28. Like someone? Errr.. gazillions
29. Your favorite color? White, pink, green ok im indecisive haih
30. When is the last time you laughed? Just now watching TV
31. Last time you cried? The last time I had a fight with BF lor...

And before all of you forget how I look like:

**gloomy sad day**

Chao! bye *BUMMERS WAKE UP ALREADY!!!!!*

AND STOP READING MY BLOG IN FRONT OF ME WTFFFFFF!!!

Tonight

Tonight I learned a lot of new things by just observing and taking them into my own account.

I see how people tried to impress others by doing things they've never done before or preferably not comfortable in doing.

I see how some people (might be) abusing alco as a reason to get away with things they don't usually do when sober or will be risked to be looked at as weird.

I see how fragile human is; relationships, feelings, thoughts, simple acts, life - all are made up of vulnerability and fragility.

Life is a lesson.

Indeed, whoever that is quoted from is a genius.

Let's just hope that I can learn from these life lessons and put them to good use. =)

HAIYAH.

I know. My previous skin quite nice right!

But it's all in xml code and I lazy to learn new codes and I don't even know how to put the nuffnang ad (or anything else for that matter) into the sidebar so that's why I am back to this orangey one!

Hahahaha...

Oh yeah just now right! I actually ting pai for 13 yao while playing mahjong and I very sien (+tulan) I didn't win at all and I actually played 13 yao twice (talk about lousy tiles!) - once I waited for hong zhong and the other time I waited for two tiles - yi tong and si fung!

Of course the most heartbroken one is when I lost the one where I ting pai one! (two others had two hong zhong tiles each so I will never win anyways :( sad)

Both I had 6 and 7 of the required tiles respectively, you see how soi I am - can't even pong or eat people's tiles! But quite lucky la can mo until quite a lot of the required tiles!

Sorry for those who doesn't play MJ hahahaha ok end of story somebody get me a job already!!!!

BBQ to feed the hungry!

I have been so bummer-ish for the past few months, it's not funny.

Okay maybe for now, it's quite enjoyable because friends are back from everywhere in other parts of the world (UK, Singapore, Aust etc) and my days are gone through with a little bit of crazy fun BUT I realize that I have been rather erractical as well.

As in like my mood swings are way crazy.

I'll be hyper mood at one time, and then damn emo and moody at another - I don' know if this is PMS because normally PMS don't bother me at all, I am only like this when I am hungry.

ANYWAYS, enough crap. As you can see, my website is under serious renovation and I am still working through putting back everything as before (I am noob) and at this point of time, I gave up so here I am posting a new post hahahaha so that all of you won't die of boredom

PICS PICS PiCs pICs pICS Pics PicS!!!

We had BBQ at Belle's! It is a gathering of ex-schoolmates of all who have returned to the Miaw Miaw Kingdom! MIAooooo!

I am lazy. So pictures tell stories ok?

#1 Thank Sai Kwong for feeding us!

#2 Friends (and BF) busy watching BBQ-ing

#3 Can eat oredi? I am hunggrryy!

MUST SHOW YOU THE AMOUNT OF FOOD WE GOT!

It never failed to amuse me how much food a party has, and then despite how many turned ups, the food never finishes!

Actually, I think this time quite ok, because we only left with a big plate of chickens, some bananas and sweet potatoes, the others quite laku!

The BBQ at Kyle's was a total waste (or maybe coz guys were so much less there?)

ANYWAYS, FOOD photos!

#4 Food

#5 Utensils and drinks

#6 Agar-agar!

#7 Mee that has to be taken with the soup!

#8 Cakes!

Quite nice right the food?

I mean, we all had good food, great company and beautiful location! Seriously, this beats gatherings at kopitiam, cafes, restaurants!

#9 Guys bullying Jennifer

#10 Nice or not Belle's house! Like some chalet right?

#11 Ok I amused with this tong of water, sorry for the blur pic hur hur

#12 Group photo timer wtf

#13 I captured smoke! I am so brilliant *pats self*

#14 Belle + Li Yik = leng lois!

#15 Mei Phing and me!

#16 Bf and me sharing a sweet potato wtf tak cukup makan ka

#17 All guys!

#18 Guys acting chio bu! *fail!*

#19 Guys acting chio 2! *fail even the worse*

#20 The girls with Jung Khang, the intern doctor!

I really hate taking photos with other girls because I always looked so damn 2nd- best to all these gorgeous people and I kept picking faults over my appearence (wtf pimple! dark circles!), but then I would have to say for memories sake - these kind of group photos are really the best!

Anyways, JK reminds me of a warm friendly bear. Because he extends warmth in his conversations and a loving feeling. =)

Great doctor he will be, I am sure of that!

The gathering is reeking with eligible bachelors! I am kidding you not!

#21 Bakal doktor + bakal lawyer

You see! If you want any of the guy's (except the guy in green k) contacts, ASK ME k!

#22 Hunks surrounding the belle

I don't know la why are all my schoolmates successful people (or going to be)! In the pic are two lawyers-to-be, an accountant-to-be, a doctor-to-be, an electrical engineer and a biotechnologist-to-be! And all are paving on a good pathway to success ok!

I feel like a failure :(

#23 Belle's infamous big fat fishes

#24 Makan BBQ-ed pisang and chatting away

wtf it sounded so wrong. And I uploaded a blur picture. Sorry for that. I am mortal after all.

OK that marks the end of Chronicles of GRSS Science Stream SPM '02 batch reunion gathering #2! First one was at Kyle's the other day (BBQ also, come on people let's steamboat or something!) .

I had to term it that way because some of (sad) us stayed for Form 6 so we are actually a part of batch '04 too. Do I make sense ah? hello hello hello? *dialing tune*

Of course, for the rest of us continued the night by...

#25 Mahjong @ Hiong's!

Enough! Back pain liao sigh!

P/S: Oh yeah I went to Rainforest haha! Not posting anything up because I thought I would not be going initially so I borrowed my cam to my bro but in the end I went! wtf! Meaning no photos la and don't know what to post about also except the mud where all of you MUST have seen in other blogs already haha

MEN AT WORK

Yes, my blog is UNDER REPAIR.

This skin maybe permanent. Maybe not.

wtf im indecisive.

*yea I finally figure I better do something about the skin while I am still bumming around sheesh*

I am kicking myself in the a** for..

#1: Missing RMWF - because of some consequences..

#2: Missing Chelsea coming to KL: speechless, lifeless, tasteless, happyless because I cannot see the new team. :(

#3: Missed watching the Wimbledon final! - they now claim it's the GREATEST FINAL EVER - wtf did I just missed that!!!!!

#4: Missed watching Kimi on the British GP - heard that Ferrari's tactics went wrong and cost Kimi dearly, but after some rectification (ie change tyres wtf), he got back from 11th place to 4th - and now share the top of driver's rankings with Hamilton and Massa.

PLS LA! WHY AM I MISSING ALL THESE GREAT GREAT THINGS! I SWEAR IF THIS GOES ON, I HAVE NOTHING TO TELL MY CHILDREN ALREADY!

"Last time Ahma still remember watching Fedara against Nadal, hit hit very hard wo them two and very long wo.. wah syiok!" ----> I cannot say this already! Sadness..

Haih mahjong until 4.30 am again la. BTW, I AM SO FURIOUS OK! I bankrupt in mahjong ytd (we only play tokens, not money)!!!! LIKE, WHO EVER BANKRUPT IN MAHJONG ONE (not me ok, i'm too cool for dat)!

I am so bloody sad la! BANKRUPT OK BANKRAP!!!!

And my face turned very black at the last game until the table so quiet and I finally won the LAST GAME but it didn't matter coz I was owing people money so in the end I still have little green tokens!

And then BF so proudly claim that he just tried his best NOT TO WIN the game because I think he's scared I am gonna be furious! LIKE WTH, WANNA LET ME WIN ALSO LET ME WIN WITH DIGNITY LA! Still wanna rang wo, you think lao niang very happy to know that you gave way for me to win isit!

Siao. NO MORE MJ AFTER THIS!

whine post

*skip if you want, this is another long whine post*

Life has been pretty indecisive right now for me.

I decided to stay in Kuching.

Where my family and BF is. And where everything is familiar and supposedly I have any circumstances of breakdown- whether emotionally or mentally or physically- I know help is a phone call away.

Staying in Kuching is not the best career option though.

Majoring in Genetics and Molecular Biology, my best bets are big budget hospitals, universities and research centers. All of which Kuching is still very much behind for.

Yes there are hospitals, universities and research centers; but most are not hiring. Even if they are, they are based at places where I couldn't possibly commute to - because I don't trust the public transport here, I can't drive and I don't have a car.

So, when I stepped into the soil of Kuching after 3 years slaving in UM, I decided that I shall call it quits on Genetics. To climb the ladder of success in Genetics is no common feat and having a Bsc is just a small kuli to the more educated molecular biologists. To get recognised, I would have to work through Masters and Phd - of which I would admit, a path I strongly detest and do not look look forward at all.

I told myself that I shall get a job in a field not mine, to learn trades that I have not known, to get the experience I should so that my resume would at least be noticed.

IT IS NOT EASY AT ALL.

I applied every single job with a strong enthusiasm. Everything I applied for, I dreamed that I would do it long-term. I would try my best to strive in it. To stay in the game and be excellent. Experienced people advised don't be afraid to start low, so I applied those jobs that required lower qualification, but I didn't mind.

I was going to show them what I'm worth and work my way up.

But every single time my optimism was held up high, people questioned me.

And broke me. Into pieces.

And I start questioning myself again. The same questions they asked me.

Where are you going?
What is your ambition, actually?
Do you put any thought at all into your future?
What do you see yourself in the future?
What do you plan to do with yourself?
Why are you here?

All said with a (sometimes) demeaning, questioning voice.

Concerned parents, curious interviewers, lost-in-contact friends, competitive course mates.

Every day I sleep with a uncertainty in my heart.

I wake up telling myself, I do not want to go into research anymore. The days spent in the lab, where sometimes something amusing happens but more often houses heart breaks when your effort proved futile. Hours, days, weeks and years spent tracing back your steps and thinking where you went wrong and rectifying it.

When you're lucky, you solve it before the day ends.

If you don't, you bring back the excess baggage to your life.

The 30 minute walk back to your home. The dinner you are having with your friends. The weekend at the shopping mall. Your sleep. The 1 hour at mass. The odd hour late night bath you are taking...

Are all filled with questions, answers, possibilities of answers, more questions, what-to-do's, check list for tomorrow - it's all about your research, research, research.

I don't want to do that anymore.

I want to walk my walk, eat my food, sleep my dreams, kiss and hug my loved ones, pat my cats, parade my clothes, watch my series WITHOUT thinking I should be in front of m computer and books, with my hair up, researching about the next best thing to solve my incompetency at lab today.

I want to have a life.

Yes, working in lab means you're your own boss. You work at your own time. Your hours. You pick. You wanna start in the middle, at the back or the conventional front. Up to you. Your style. As long as decent result is achieved.

But I rather have a job where your boss yelled at you because you screwed some big account and you go home moody and teary; but hey, there's where whatever makes you happy comes in.

Boyfriends, friends, shopping, chocolate, icecream.

You have your ups and downs. You get through it and see another day.

And be better at it.

At least, I get to be myself. Day I might be the corporate self, but once 5pm strikes, I am the joker, lunatic klutz.

Is it so wrong of wanting a life? Why do I send you applications and you frowned at my degree and put my applications aside?

So I made a mistake. I might have chosen the wrong thing to study. Should I be penalized for that one single mistake? I didn't even flunk at my mistake, in fact I did quite well. I was interested in the field when I applied for it, but career wise, it was a bad option.

I see my parents with their old age working hard for me where I am eligible enough to support them - so I decided I should start somewhere. Why won't you give me chance to? Why break my spirit? Why question my decision? Should I explain to you all my concerns?

Wouldn't that take too much a time to explain?

...

Maybe some other time in the future, I will find myself again. And when I do, that time, no matter whoever whatever has anything to say about me, I will have an answer to them.

Conquering Fort Margherita...

Bummers are very good at coming up with stupid things to do because well, bummers have all the time.

We went to Fort Margherita the other day. It is a fort built in the 1600's if I am not mistaken overlooking passages from the sea into Kuching (via river) by James Brooke and the fort was named after his wife.

You have to take boat ride from Main Bazaar / Waterfront to the other side of the river!

#1 Boat ride!

#2 Delirious me!

Yeah sakai never go on boat trips isit? *smacks head*

#3 Hiong looking around

Anyways, I think I have been girlish a little bit too much too long.

Last time I walked around, jumping on rocks to rocks or hurdling over drains with such agility and courage; now I walked on everything with pathetic meticulous steps and whinings that would never stop. Gahhh!

#4 Inside of the fort

#5 Nice clouds formations right!

Anyways the fort is really boring now.

I remembered going with the girls for our Sejarah project last time backn in Form 3 and the terrain was HUGE with tanks and lots of things to see!

Apparently, the fort is now under renovation as well because there's a huge mega-structure being built next to it. So everything antic and all the Museum Police's possessions are being kept somewhere else until the project finishes.

Yes that project is non other than the..

#6 Sarawak's new DUN building!

Yes, it's a mega structure big-ass building alright! I heard it even has rooms for the DUN members to rest? I thought I took quite a decent picture of it because when Tim saw it, he was astounded at it and asked me what building it is. Hur hur..

Yea, never underestimate our DUN because the state are have all the money, so if they really want to do something big- THEY WILL.

And after this, you will see my frowns all over the place!

#7 Frown 1

#8 Not really a full-blown frown but I'm still frowning

#9 Full blown frown!

Okay, the reason is because I have a love-hate relationship with the sun! I think (sometimes) sunny days make me happy because it brings all the obvious out - you can see clear skies and happy flowers and green trees!

But put me under it (even with generous amount of sunblock), I don't know! It just dampens my mood! I hate being under the sun! It's so hot! And it'll turned me dark!

Thank God tanning is not a fashion trend here or I'll be so left out!

Yea so my face is fat. Live with it.

I did.

# 10 Frowning@ AfterThree kopitiam

I was screaming for us to get a decent air-conditioned place with COOL drinks because I was feeling extremely snappy after the trip under the sun!

Thus the face.. -_-'''

#11 Barley. Nice!

#12 Bo lo pao!

# 13 Tired!

Hahaha, and after that we went off to play badminton! Siao! I was dead tired ok! But I still succumbed!

I haven't been playing since errr 1 year ago! ! No pictures because I was busy kicking the guys' asses (ok kidding! Not).

And now I am having troubles lifting my thighs and hands (imagine me going up the stairs -A.G.O.N.Y!!!!)

So I am really having trouble typing this ok you guys better appreciate this (can't lift my arm)!

Ok, until the next adventure of the bummerS!~