Pet Peeve

I REALLY REALLY HATE RUDE PEOPLE!

I don't even mind people who say ridiculous thing or even weird, psycho people or even old people who ask a multi million questions, I cannot stand rude people!!!!

I read Cibol's post the other day, and was somehow prepared for the worst.

His Acer computer needed repair too, and so it was conveniently coincidental that I read the post and was prepared for the cost that might rendered on my laptop.

So I went the other day, and found out my LCD was spoilt and my warranty had just been over a month ago. I have been moaning all week why the bad luck befallen me, I really don't know why. I expected around Rm300-400 to repair (ok laugh la I don't care) but to my dismay, the person said it would cost around RM800+.

Ok fine. I said why don't they confirm the problem and get back to me (which is another RM50).

I gave my laptop on Tuesday or something, and finally on Friday around 4-ish they called.

I was sleeping so I didn't answered the call. They called my house and talked to my dad - of which my dad shoot with a million questions with why a relatively new laptop can have a LCD problem etc etc and I think he was surprised to learn the RM800 repair cost that he immediately said to cancel the repair.

When I learned of the story, it was night and there's nothing I can do, right? I thought of saving the case until Monday because I didn't know whether they are open on Saturdays.

Fine. So after a few (hard) pleadings, my mom said ok, and I can get it repaired (because I desperately need it for my research next time). Which was on a Sunday.

They called me this morning (Monday) to pick up my laptop. I planned to call them but I am still sleeping after a long night.

and this is how the conversation ensued.

Person: Hi, is this Suzie? I am calling from HIGHPOINT.
Me: Where?
Person: Highpoint. About your laptop, can you come to collect it today?
Me: Oh, I would like to get it repaired instead. Is it ok?
Person: How come like that!? I thought we talked to your father and he said you don't want to repair? And why didn't you call us to tell us!?

When I heard the tone of her voice, I cannot tahan.

First, I am the customer. I am the one paying RM800+, why does it matter to you what I want to do?

Second, I asked politely. If you angered, then find a way to express it better. What, you won't come across customers who are loso? And I am not even loso, I just changed my decision. And it wasn't even me who changed the decision, you confronted my dad NOT ME. He was probably stunned by the cost price of RM800+ and said there is no need for the repair. That was before he found out I needed the laptop for my research. Conclusion is, shouldn't you be asking ME?

Third, are you the engineer? Or technician? Or you're just the customer service officer?
Don't fuck with me! The workload is not on you, it's on them!

Obviously agitated, I practically rose my voice when talking.

Me: When you call me, it was already 4pm and the weekend is here, what do you expect me to do!!!
Person: Yeah, but we called your home and your dad answered. Your dad didn't convey the message to you immediately?
Me: He did!! But by the time I knew, it was already night! You didn't get through me, how can he? And by the time I knew, it was weekend already, what can I do? I don't even know whether your office is open on Saturday, you know la so many damn offices decided to close on Saturdays. So I decided to wait till Monday to tell you!
Person: Ok, so you want to repair now. Do you know the cost!?
Me: Yes, Rm800 right?
Person: Wait, I check.

* and then I heard her saying something in the background while she put me on hold. "It's always your case one, so geram..". I was cooling down already but this got me boiling again. *

Person: Hallo, it's RM806.
Me: Ok whatever.
Person: Confirm ha this time, we don't want to do double things again.
Me: YA YA YA CONFIRM. NEXT TIME CALL ME PERSONALLY AND ASK LA. WHY WAIT UNTIL 4 SOMETHING ALMOST WANNA GO HABIS KERJA THEN CALL ME. You call me once, if I cannot get to you, I will call you back one. But dun alang alang call me at 4pm on a Friday some more, how to get back to you? then cannot get thru me blame my dad.
Person: ok, when it's done, I will call you again la.
Me: you better do. make sure it's me this time.

*click*

I CANNOT TAHAN! I am generally a good-natured person, especially to people I don't know. But what the fuck does she thinks she deserve to treat people like me with risen voice, I don't know. I am not her maid, and neither am I her daughter!

And it's not that I am stating whether I can get it before Raya? I understand that they might want to clear off everything before Raya, but if they're can't, then finish it after la! I can be understanding when it comes to workload, but what the hell do I deserve such treatment, I am telling you woman, if I know who are you - I will throw the RM800 to your face and asked where's my laptop!

After that call, I couldn't go back to sleep and kept reciting prayers to calm me down (obviously not working).

RUDE PEOPLE ARE MY PET PEEVES!

Throughout the whole conversation, I kept thinking whether there is another service centre which I could go to, but I don't think so! Which is why I think they have those higher-than-you kind of mentality and non-existant customer service! (serves to government as well). In a heartbeat, if there is another service centre, I would just hang the damn phone and get my laptop to the other service centre!

I seriously am damn mad right now. And I am trying to control my wishful thinking of going back there when my laptop is fixed and make it a disastrous day for anyone who tended to me!

I hope I am a better person than that.

So people, if you're in Kuching - Acer's Highpoint service centre sucks big time. Without doubt, next time, my laptop WILL NOT BE OF ACER'S, FOR SURE.

I am going to spread this around as much as I can, because customer are always right. And you bet I am.

I wanna go the Singapore F1!!!

The track looked so nice and it's at night, so I can throw away my umbrella, sunscreen etc etc!

FLY ME TO SINGAPORE NOW!!!!

Where will this take me?

I really think that life is funny.

Can a state of high be sustained for like maybe, 4 days?

You're excited for one day and the next day, you'll receive something condemning enough to vaporize your happy mood the day before.

Why the need to arise this issue?

My laptop? Needs freaking RM800 to be repaired. Dampen my mood straight away.

I would rather throw the money to some KK trip that I know I will definitely enjoy; but in long-term I know I probably would need it for further research in the future. Not forgetting it's very convenient because it is my own, and I didn't need to share it with 3 other person in the house.

I'm a little hesistant. But I know it won't be long before I start my pleadings to my parents to sponsor the freaking repair.

Funny. Because I just had a moment of a worthy high just hours before the devastating blow came.

And then I thought, why can't being happy be sustained? Being depressive and sad can go on like weeks to no end, until a light at the end of tunnel shine. But being happy is so short-lived! I feel like being happy is an insect compared to the state of devastation is like a mammal.

(because insect has low life span and mammals well, live longer)

And then I remember how funny life is because there's so many life incidents in the past that change me.

Like that first prefectorial interview I went to?

And failed miserably (yes I failed -_-'''). I couldn't accept. I wasn't the school's best student. But I was an obedient student. And I didn't see why choosing over more rebellious peers was better than choosing me!?

My self esteem was destroyed. And until this point I kept questioning whether I was good enough? For anything at all?

And up until now, I still go into interviews with extreme nerves.

Or when I was demoted to the 2nd best science class from the best?

Boy was that a mental blow I probably suffered it for half a year or so. I didn't understand at that time because I wasn't last in class but my Science grades were one of the worst. For now, it turned out trivial to me because like, who cares what class I'm in last time?

And maybe it did gave me that kind of feeling of rejection whenever I don't perform well in exams up until uni. (and still doing Science -wtf I have always been better in other subjects since forever!)

Or when this certain girl called me a liar and a chicken (coward) because I always backed out on my words?

Oh this is classic. I must thank her despite our hatred for each other then (maybe now too but I don't hate her now). Because I am so much better person than I was then. I never say anything I couldn't do.

And I try to keep my promises from then on.

Or when I cried when my best friend got selected as committee of a board?

Because the rest of my gang was already in the committee and I was afraid that I will be left out of all the fun.

She didn't agree to the election. Of which I felt deeply guilty of (more now than previous time). I hoped it wasn't because of me (which I think is more of).

And from then, I realized I didn't have heart as big as my close friends. And every time I looked back in time, I tried to push myself to be like them.

Or when I fell for someone younger and felt the pressure was crushing me?

Well, this taught me love never judges. And that love can be maintained if effort are put into it.

If there is a will, there is a way.

Or when I made the decision not to commit to anyone, just for the sake of clearing my head and know what I want - and in the end probably hurting two people?

I still look on this day and wondered whether whatever I did was right? Follow the right thing or follow your heart?

Or should I blame someone because she blurted out the wrong thing to me that inspire the whole tragedy? Or is it fate?

Or the time when I accepted someone into my life, just because I was hurting from someone else's rejection of me and of how he was approving of another guy in my life?

Guys just don't normally fight it out for girls. Especially when it is their best friend. Unless they think she is worthy enough.

I've learned ;)

I've learned so much. But I always wonder with all these happening to me, I had become this paranoid-of-taking-risks, timid and jumping to conclusions kind of person. Because I chose to be protective of myself. Because of my past.

I see my friends who are adventurous, flow as time goes, risk-takers, gamblers have the time of their life. Boast and brag about life experiences.

Which tell me.

TIME TO CHANGE.

It will be a slow transition. :)

When I am glad I am a Christian..

Many who know me would agree that I am not a strict Catholic.

I go to mass every Sunday, I observe day of obligations, I fast when I need to, I try to learn as much as I can about my religion.

I guess that's about it. I am not proud of the lack of effort/enthusiasm but neither am I ashamed of it.

To me, my religion is something of my own context and I would not allow someone else to judge my relationship with God as something that I need to fast to, or pray to, or celebrate to.

Except for the three prayers that I was made to memorize since my Sunday school days, I never bothered with the rest of the prayers. Some of my friends used to "show off" about how they can by heart certain prayers and prayed loudly; of which I chose to ignore.

I do not think that my inability (or refusal, more like) to memorize those prayers make me less a person than they are.

I did not want to limit my words to God. The things that I want to say are beyond those prayers and while the intentions are good (the prayers), I find them sometimes a little bit emotionless and insincere.

Once, when I went to a certain group on their normal Bible sharing day, and I saw how they interpreted the verse of the day. I didn't want to tell them but I didn't agree with what they were doing. The Bible doesn't always mean the same things to the same people.

Yes, the Good Samaritan parable probably meant that we shouldn't be impartial to certain people, we should treat all people the same.

But to me, the parable also meant that help can come in ways you do not expect (in this case the Samaritan), God has a way for you somehow.

You may disagree with me. Maybe my thinking is unorthodox or wrong in a Christian term. But like I say, religion is an individual thing to me. Make me or break me - I will do what I believe in.

I am the skeptical Christian. I study Science (Big Bang, evolution) and gullibly take them in. Despite that, when I read the Bible, I believed what I read and manage to put aside the scientific beliefs that I have acquired.

I am a Christian and a scientist. People always asked me how can that be? How can I be a scientist and a Christian and believing both doctrines? A little bit hypocritical, they add. I am little bit confused, I must say.

People always ask me what does being a Christian meant to me? Or how I do know I am with the right side?

Seriously, I always thought I failed in this part because my beliefs to me is something I know of, but I cannot explain. And I will smugly reply, "The peace in my heart."

I didn't know whether my answer is right. Or even relevant. Or whether it answered the other person's questions.

It is at bad days like this when I didn't know why am I hated for, or penalized for, or scolded for - that I am glad I am a Christian.

Days like this, I go up to my room and lie watching the skies, hoping for a majestic force to take me away from this cruel fate.

I talk to Jesus, pray, sometimes cry, get lost in my emotions.

And if I am lucky, maybe He will allow a restful nap for me after that, in the middle of my prayers and tears.

When I woke up, I can feel the restlessness or the empty feeling or the negative emotions dissipating away.

Somehow sometime during the period, a light of revelation came to me and I see the point where the person was doing the act for and I try to understand. It was unfair to me, but I see where he/she was coming from.

I didn't understand the mechanism. But every time this happens, I thank God I am a Christian. I let go of vengeance, I don't necessarily act to mend the situation; but I was at peace. The peace was overwhelmingly flowing over me. And it is sooo soothing.

I am no saint. Neither am I promoting that I am the model Christian. I am far from that. I err and make fault.

I am just glad that God gave me that peace in my heart. The one I am feeling. Right now..

Love letter/notes

Because friends have been complaining that they have been running out of sites to read, thus my enthusiasm (can you sense my enthusiasm hur hur hur) to be a good entertainer since I am neither working, studying, sleeping or eating at the moment (sounds so depressed wtf)

To all 40 of you, yea! you got something to read now!

(because I have a daily hit of 40 per day so there SHOULD be 40 loyal persons coming back here every day)

I have realized at this point of my 23 years of existence that we, girls, woman, female, ah ma should never ever write to a man anymore. Yes, I am beckoning to the whole population of woman that our effort will down washed the drain or used as butt wipers when toilet papers run out.

If you say I am wrong, then explain to me how is it that nearly everything that I wrote to someone before (not emails of course) ended up at the hands of another person? Or or or the fact that somebody else had read them despite a caution/warning/ps/pleadings in the letter that it should not be seen but by the receiver itself?

Man, to my conclusion, are greatly flattered by the effort of a paper full of constructed words that took nights of courage and sentiments that they find the need to show off to their friends or even to show that they are indeed wanted by someone of the opposite sex.


I think I can judge how a man's worth by how he processes the letters/notes.

Man who cared will generally keep it a secret; or write letters/notes back; or give you shy smiles when you bump into each other but nothing too obvious that will give anything away.

I have once been privileged enough to be acquainted by men of sorts.

One, was when I was in sec school and the long holidays came. At that time, Internet was still a new thing and phone calls were a little bit public so I decided to write to this guy that I fancied. He was quite well-known in school and had gathered a little bit of fans, so in real life I wouldn't have approached him at all.

Imagine my surprise when he wrote back to me!

We exchanged letters for about 2-3 times before school started again, and he would passed me by in the school hall smiling sheepishly! How very cute! Ahhh, puppy love at that time!


And another one was when at an event where you can exchanged notes anonymously to anyone in the management team supposedly to encourage team members of a job well done, and this certain guy passed notes to me! Not in those kind of obvious "hey, I wanna know you more" kind of notes, but guess what was his first note was!

water may become tranquility
if you see it from a different view
seek it
and there you will find your present

poetic poem or whatever sort it was! I never figured what it was and just thought it was another game/funny trick someone played on me. It was anonymously given.

Somehow towards the end of the day, someone found this near a pond and said it was addressed to me.
Can you see it! Lousy drawing but I can't be bothered. It was big flower (I forget what flower it was, bunga raya or something common those you can find anywhere and be plucked) with a little note attached! And the ones who found it said at first they didn't bothered about it but it looked a little weird having ONE flower by the pond and when they looked nearer, there's a note!

I forget what the note said but something insignificant like, "Suzie, here your present be lies" or something like that. But it definitely made me realized it had something to do with the earlier note!

And I couldn't show appreciation because I don't know who it was! Towards the few days, I got more small notes with topics like the weather and the guys were talking about before sleep or who he thinks is linking up in the group; and I really enjoyed all the small notes. :)

HOWEVER, these man are a handful minority and once you find these kind of man, there is no reason for you girls not to pounce on them immediately.

I have given up on finding guys who would pay a little respect to letters because to me, letters are extremely truthful and sentimental because you chose to write in your handwriting and you're making an effort by writing.

Men who does show respect to notes/letters to me are a noble lot because if they can pay respect to your letters, I don't think paying attention to a person will be a problem. It also showed that they care, because they do not want to jeopardize their chances with you.

I mean, how if you find out in the near future that he has been showing your letters to his friends and completely blow your top!?

So he chose to play safe, or try hard to keep it private because he knows you will not like it if your private writings are leaked.

Those who do not show respect, generally just do not care about people's feelings or how much sincerity one is trying to show!

What is more important to them is how much everybody knows that he got a letter, from who who who and yea, he's the man isn't it! Don't you just detest this kind of man!

I know all of you (esp guys) are trying to disagree with me (because I bet every guy will flaunt their letters to friends anyways IF they're privileged to receive one) but admit it, this is true right!

Come on, don't you agree with me (like seriously)?

Suzie and her long Annah Rais story..

Ok, my blog hasn't been all happy and la-di-da most of the times and especially at these troubling times.

I was quite a nervous wreck this week because there's so many at stake and I couldn't vent out because BF is battling his own demons so we were left to fight our own battles (I sound like a Resident Evil video game).

As a consequence, friends especially close ones are "trapped" alive in my melodrama of decisions and I stalked continuously these people so that they may decide for me, as I was in a deadlock. I finally realized that nobody wanted to decide for me and gave me standard answers because they didn't want to influence me into making probably the biggest mistake of my life.

So fine, I will continuously pray, until some discreet intervention from God that will suddenly make me go "Ah-Ha" (ok learned this from Oprah lol)

OK, I must not be so depressed.

I always wonder why is Oprah so well-received, I mean it's not any funnier than Jay Leno's or David Letterman but now I know why! I learned from her show that we need to be positive than we can anticipate the changes!

And then, I realized that I have been penalizing myself so much for being a failure (to myself), not finding a proper job that pays me good, not sales-oriented and not that far that it is accessible from my home.

But despite all that, I've realized that I really have a good support team everywhere, my parents and BF's parents has been great because they know I have been trying hard enough and they never nag me.

BF has been a pretty good bumming fellow and my friends via MSN, SMS and Fb are the best - they give me a little dose of reality most of the time but at times, they melt my heart by saying really touching things that makes me feel like if people can believe in me, why can't I?

Enough sad things aside!

Fine fine must show you pictures of the trip to Annah Rais (to show that it is really me behind this, and I am not dead yet lol)

All shamelessly taken from Seng Chiao's the accountant blog!

Chiao and me!

Yes, he is really that muscular and no, gays cannot be interested ok, he's straight lol!

And this is one funny accountant, if I am not 3 years older, maybe can consider jadi his san nai (3rd wife) or si nai (4th wife), I seriously dunno how many nai's he got oredi lol

Ok, kenot - his er nai (2nd wife) already younger than me, very hard to keep up later.

SORRY BAbeh Jui, I still love youuuuuuu!

The folks @ Annah Rais hot spring

That is the hot spring folks! I was thinking of something like a room designated for you (yea something like Japanese sauna room) or something to that extent but actually you only get like a few stones arranged to circle the supposedly hot spots!

Okla, really got hot spots because if you stepped on those spots, it's really HOT!

why sengchiong legs lidat! lol

I tell you these ppl very funny, I think I laughed like 367546563 times that day - and then listened attentatively at their ghost stories and geography and history lessons like a kid listening to Snow White for the first time.

And I think I take good photos!

I like random photos, like when people aren't prepared and then I just snap! Because I feel that the pics that I like the most are those that you have no idea you did that before, and then when you see the pics, "Eh, what was I doing?!"

And then a long bamboo story comes flowing after that! Hahahaha and a good laugh!

Ok, trip trip! I take these photos!

Lu org pikir spa merh!

Chewah family bonding lidat!

Seriously, the guys photos looks like they were taking studio pics or something lol cannot tahan crack up! And I love SChiong's camera but not as user friendly as my Canon but still!

(ok, my Canon is giving me the eye I must stop complaining now lol)

And I took so much more photos, where it is!

Finish story, Suzie isn't dead ok!

:) Till the next update! Muakz!

I hate my life.

Like seriously.

Someone save me.

from all this self-pity.

-comments off-

speechless

My body has a mind of its own.

I have slept for the past 2 days from 7 pm onwards till early mornings, exactly 5am, 6am.

I have no idea why it decided to have such odd hours, and no, I tried to stir awake at 11pm just so that I don't overslept and be lethargic in the day, but my eyes failed me. It doesn't want to even remain open.

I hesitated and went back to bed, and within the next 2 minutes, enjoying sights of another dream.

I couldn't figure out the need for such hours.

Today, again I woke up at 5am - feeling extremely fragile. Fever check? NO. Flu? NO. Headache? A little bit.

What the heck is wrong I have no idea.

As usual, had the computer on and logged into the usual spots - Facebook, Gmail, Hotmail, MSN, Blogger.

How today will be different, I didn't know.

OK, I gotta find what's wrong with myself, I hate being sick. For no apparent reason.

Maybe I am online at this stage because I need somebody to help me decide something. But normally people would just ask you to TRY EVERYTHING but you know somehow how the different options might cause some collateral damage, so this is how I am going to decide this.

I'll throw a coin.

Believe me, I have been in a mental wreck state since forever because I couldn't decide and I have been asking people around me, only for them to give me standard answers. Which I cannot tahan because I already know all these factors already. I just need somebody to tell it to me straight to the point what to do.

Which is why I like the trip to Annah Rais, guys. Give me so much clarification and energy than needed. BF was like, a little bit hesitated on going (maybe coz of the early hours) and I just went, "I WANNA GO I WANNA GO I DUN CARE"

Because my head was like in a entangled spider web and yes, nature trip is very much welcomed to clear off the state of mind.

(OUI I WANT THE PICS WOI)

I didn't even get into the water, only 3/4 of my legs went in (lol) but all the History lessons by elder Hong and Yee Boon was kind of refreshing! I am into History also but the way how these people know about the Berlin Wall etc and how pissed off signs come about, rofl how do they know!

And then plus all the reminiscing past times that we all had at different times (because we are all different batches ma..), why does going down the memory lane is always so funny and surprising! NOVEMBER TIEN CHI'S! lol, whoever gives those kind of names man!

and teasing Kim Song!

And meeting "white people" at Matang campsite lol! WHY I NEVER HEAR OF ALL THESE STORIES ONE!

So yea thanks people for the great company, Suzie is appreciative! :)

Okay, back to bed. And I still want the pics lol

It's coming, isn't it?

Other parts of the world are battling a probable cold war. And Hurricane Ike. Typhoon Silaku. Earthquakes.

Political reformations. Government overturns.

And all these while, I've only watched this on the CNN, on how unstable the other parts of the world can be. But I've always stayed cozy on my comfy rattan chair while watching all that.

And now, I started to shift uncomfortably in the wake of all these ISA arrests, shush ups, cover ups, clever political and psychological remarks.

Maybe I am alone on this. Maybe I am just a gust a wind than a typhoon. Maybe I am just a plant with uproots.

BUT I AM NOT STUPID.

Stop with the racist remarks. Accusing the Chinese of this. Malays of that. Indians of those. And of who are being racist in the first place.

Is it really hard to make us have equal rights and privileges? Why the bias?

Who are you to decide who deserved what? Shouldn't hard workers and thinkers be rewarded instead of quotas?

If we had never need to fill the 'Bangsa' column on forms all the time, I reckoned we are better down unity road now.

Because then, we are reminded. That we are Cina. We are Melayu. We are India. We are Lain-lain.

And because of that, we are different.

Get ready, it's coming.

Suzie is tired.

I know you people will kill me because I am practically FREE right.

This week is tiring ok.

More mentally than physically.

Maybe because I *think* I am getting sick also. I see weekend coming and I am like praying, HALLELUJAH, come now come now!

But alas, it's still Friday and I have another interview later, just scheduled this morning when they called me at 8am (wth!?).

YOU HAVE NO IDEA RUNNING FROM ONE INTERVIEW TO ANOTHER AND HAVING TO GO THROUGH BRAIN-RACKING TRAUMATIC QUESTIONS THAT MAKE YOU QUESTION YOURSELF AND YOUR SELF ESTEEM!

I actually thought I will be free today and I looked forward to a peaceful Friday after a hectic week, but alas, my party is so not to be!

OK, I shall quote this LowYat forumer fellow who said something like this on the forum (and I remember haha),

"Don't say there are no jobs available when you didn't do 100 applications and running to 3-4 interviews A DAY."

It's so funny to me, I kept thinking this guy packed something huh! And it gave me inspirations also lol, ok 3-4 interviews a day, must try to achieve!

But quite tiring le. 1 interview a day for a week already I wanna cry.

And yes I am very fussy. I just go for all the interviews even though I am not that interested in the jobs so that I can better at interviews (yea you read that right) in the future because Gilda said I should just go and get experience so that next time, interviews won't be so nerve-wrecking!

And what infuriates me most is those jobs that are offered me are those jobs I totally rule out of doing! Too far, sales, in KL, low paying, no career prospect..

The jobs that I really want? Never call me back! Haih!

I guess it's like this huh!? *sigh*

Ok, now if you excuse me, I want to go and iron my shirt *sad repetition cycle of life*

Me no likey Chrome.

I have switched from IE since forever and ever when Firefox started (first right?) to have the tabs feature and I heard it was way more protective than IE. But I surprised to know that Firefox's users are only 20% of all Internet users with IE 75%?? 

Wow. As far as I know, most of my friends uses Firefox! So we are the 20%? Who are the 75%? Why none of my friends and me are IE's users merh?

So now that I am (tried) using Chrome, I really really despise it.

I thought I will get used to it, like when I changed from Office 2007 from 2003, I really hated having to find out where everything was but once I get the hang of it, wow! Especially good for people who are writing thesis man, I think it prollie saved like 50% of time I would have used for 2003's features!

BUT I NEVER LIKE CHROME despite using it for days already!

They say the tabs worked independently, so if a tab crashes, you can still access other tabs.

But it is so damn slow lo! I mean, it's very fast mean you google something or type an address, relatively faster than Ff. But when you opened tabs, and then let's say you accessed your Gmail account right on one of the tabs?

Then, if your Gmail account is loading which the page might freezes for a while right? Normally with Firefox, I will just click to another window or tab and read something else - you know la, our generation, 5 seconds wait is like eternity right?

Chrome totally sucked in that! It freezes and it normally doesn't allow for you to change windows! So if I am viewing let's say an Acrobat file that takes ages to load sometimes because of its size, I just gotta wait there for a while! Totally sien le!

And I am still unused not having spell checker, like my Firefox have. Yes, this is my secret to proper spelling all these while wtf lol you think my English very good huh?

So far, I cannot think of any other shortcomings yet but yea, I am hoping the super efficient Google people would see this and upgrade it haha because I like how fast it loads pages and the start up page where they showed your most popular websites. lol

~*~*~*~*~

And oh, you know they say about how choosy graduates nowadays right?

I think I am one of them, because I have been offered 5 jobs already and I turned them all down because of reasons la. Hahaha, firstly I don't do sales and I need to live also so that's why it's a no-no to sales job or low-paying job. And then KL people call me, haih terpaksa la reject because I am going to be stuck in Kuching what.

And thanks to Frankie, I am feeling quite curious and gatal wanting to do masters again. Because I feel like I have not achieved much from my undergraduate thesis from the 1 year doing it. Sigh.

Oh well, I think God got plans for me la. Hopefully. Right, God? *shrug*

~*~*~*~*~

On another note, haha.. yesterday I had one of our most fiercest fights with The BF over the LHC. 

hahhah that's Large Hadron Collider la for you.

I was asking him about it and when he said he had no idea what it is, I say (maybe quite sarcastically) that it's a chamber of colliding particles la! and then like maybe in a descending tone, like he studies physics why doesn't he know about it.

And then, he started to come back at me saying how it is more of physics science rather than engineering science lol totally laughable ok our fights I think his dad got a shock of his life why are we fighting over such thing!

And then, my comeback is that I am a genetics graduate with my foot more in bio and I understand the whole thing, like shouldn't someone who studied fundamentals in physics should understand the breaking discovery of science more than a DNA person!?

OK, actually while I thought about the whole thing all over again, it began to dawned to me about how research and industrial/business people are very much trained differently in processing their thoughts.

I had my background in research and we were trained to look into things ourselves, like read journals and education websites, and understanding fundamentals are of extreme importance to us. Why is this? Because if we are asked and you don't understand the basics, you might as well as pack your things home.

Engineering and technology are very industrial and real; which of course why basics is applied but who really cares man. It's when you are really good at what you're doing what counts. Nobody is going to care about how well you explain quantum physics.

But in research-wise, how well you explain the fundamentals are sometimes a good worthy skill.

And research requires a whole lot of imagination.

I feel like my curiousity and enthusiasm to know the depth of how everything works comes from my course work which is training me to a scientist; I am just quite unused to know that not everybody is like me.

MSN chat: 

Me: The particle collider has been fired! Welcome science's breakthrough!

L: apa itu?

Me: It's a project by CERN. Big Bang theory? It's trying to prove what happened when particles collide. Existence of antimatter?

It's actually a particle accelerator. or atom smasher. I dunno la. Me bio field but I DO know it's a big thing!

L: wtf u lost me at CERN

n all this while i tot u might be a little bit bimbo

ur degree sort of like gave me d benefit of doubt

n den this statement totally throws me off

ok i admit *kow tow* u no bimbo

Haha, and yes I am no bimbo.

And yea ok, you guys can go google LHC now lol.

This Fab Life..

I am getting so laid-back due to this unemployment it's not even funny!

I normally sleep very late at night, from 4-5 am and then wake up in the afternoon!

And then when I wake up, I'll la-la-la on my bed, thinking what to do and most of the time, I find the liberty to go terrorize someone downstairs, most probably my mom or sis. After making a good job out of it, I pat myself proudly and start finding new projects to do like, cleaning my room or talking to my teddy bears/Patricks or go online.

After that, of course my BF will be ready to pick me and we would go for late lunch (he also wake up late one ler hmmphh life of bummers is like this lo!) around 4-5 pm. Finish lunch and then we head back to his house and then we will idle somemore, most probably watch more TV or movies or online. 

And then kena marah by his parents, ask to eat dinner (by now, it will be 6-7 pm?)) but I seriously cannot eat because took late lunch already ma, but in the end I obliged as not to be seen as bo kuan by eating a small portion of whatever I can take.

Yes, this is repetitive hahaha and it is fabulous because I have the freedom to be, to do whatever I want when I wake up!

SO this is my fab life, please don't be jealous ha you working people.

The other day, I saw a primary school friend of mine during working hours and I was wearing my short pants with T-shirt and she was wearing office wear;

Friend: WHAT R U DOING NOW!

Me: Eh, hello. I looking for cleansing oil, got ah?

Friend: NO! I mean what r u doing now? Still studying meh? Heard from someone you graduated dy?

Me: Yea yea yea hahaha..

Friend: Then why r u not working one? MC ah?

Me: Haven find job ah..

Friend: WEI, work liao la! Stop idling around...!!!

Me: Ahahahaha jealous ah!

Like, I cannot explain the tone of her voice ok. If she's asking me like a normal friend would, like, appropriately and politely, you know those small talk kind of thing - I wouldn't mind? But her tone was like motherly and elderly, like asking you to stop wasting time, time is gold is money is treasure, we young people must work hard etc those kind of thing lol.

Another incident was when I was online and I chatted to this person who I was very close to last ttime.

Me: I love my life. I wake up and think what I am going to deal with today. Like if today I decide to be a butterfly, I can!

Him: wtf siaw liaw lu

Me: it is the truth

Him: I din say not the truth le

Me: very happy live lidis

Him: no comment go find some rich fellow jadi siu lai lai liao la

Me: ok i got better plan. since i oredi got bf, i think i just wait until he become rich

Him: what if he never?

Me: CHOI TA KAI LAI SI! u curse me ah

Him: ehehehehe lol

then in the mean time do wad while he's "trying" to be rich

Me: continue with my fab life

Him: ha wad fab life u toking

u think u paris hilton ah

Me: without the hiltons yes

Him: siaw dy u

Me: I can totally get used to this man... this fab life..

Him: get used to what?

Me: this fab life la

Him: what fab life? U mean being a pig everyday!!?

Ok why everybody so harsh towards me ah! jealous isit! Ok, I wanna end here because I wanna go find movies to watch lol.

And today, I have decided I want to be a cat. Miaooooo!

What is today!!??

I am asking because there are two very disastrous events that happened to me today!!

I checked my Gemini prediction for the day (not that I believe anyway), but they didn't say anything ler!

THEN TELL ME HOW COME!!

Of all days, I suddenly very free watch TV and saw the Belgian GP on TV and Kimi was leading, left 10 laps! And I was laughing because I know very seldom left 10 laps won't win right!?

So I switched to CSI and then reverted back and saw left 2 laps, yay Kimi still leading! And then hor and then hor, I saw Hamilton tried to cut him and their cars were swaying from left to right and I was like wtf?

OK, me dumb I never see they compete on wet track before and I was wondering what's wrong with the circuit!!!! And then if you watch that scene(s) on the 2nd last lap, you'll know what happened la!

Hamilton went into the grass, Kimi overtook.
Then Kimi went into the longer road, so Hamilton overtook.
Kimi never recovered, somemore spun 360 degrees but back on track again.
Last but not least, he finally crashed at a turning!

Like wtf!! This is when he led most of the 44 laps and only happened at the 2nd last lap!!

Okay maybe the Hakkinen one more dramatic, engine spoiled at the last lap when he was far far ahead leading -_-''' BUT this is quite the same also!

THEN THEN I watched the Rafa against Murray match which was continuation of yesterday's cause raining ma.

I told you, yesterday I watched Federer's and was sleepy so I went to sleep but throughout my sleep, I know I kept muttering "Rafa, Rafa..." siaw OCD or not.. lol

Rafa's record was 5-0 against this guy la k, and ok I am not an avid supporter of Rafa or Federer but I damn want Rafa to win because I missed the Wimbledon final (ya still damn anal about it) and I hoped this final could be a rematch of that match!

AND MURRAY HAD TO SPOIL MY PARTY!!! I was so convinced Rafa not going to let this guy win, despite Murray leading 2-0 the night before!

Some more ha, some more ha, in 33 matches before this one, Rafa had win 32 of them and 5 titles! WHY AM I SO SOI THAT I HAD TO WATCH THE ONE HE LOST!

I secretly said sorry in my prayers just now because I believed I may have jinxed Rafa and Kimi by watching them..

Ok Rafa and Kimi, if you reading this, Sorry again - I really wanted you guys to win haih.. Tough luck next time k!

US Open 2008...

Has seriously strike a chord with me! Whoopeeee!!!

Not only I am watching (sometimes) good and exciting tennis, the players totally like stepped up the fashion platform!

I am lazy to put up pictures but I must show you some delectable dresses from the players!!!

A lil bit colour off for the pink one, the blue one is cute!

And let me show you the gorgeous dress Jelena Jankovic from Serbia donned during her semi finals win over Elene Dementieva of Russia!

I was slumped in my chair and when I noticed it, I started to sit upright and then tried to take notice of every visible time when they showed full shot of the dress!!

Very very cute!

If you haven't know, my fav colour of the moment is canary yellow (or mustard) and her dress is canary yellow!

And then hor.. got cute cute ribbon tied around her waist! Cute!!!! x1000000

And yes, of course, wayyyyy above the knee hemline which is why it is so attractive to me because I cannot stand anything below my knee.

I like!

I was surprised la of course, because the supermodel of tennis isn't playing, who else but Sharapova of course. SO I thought I wouldn't be able to see cute little dresses from her this Grand Slam!

Must show you my all-time favs from Sharapova!

I am waiting for more fashion statements from players!

Australian Open 2008! -white dress with pleated white and back

If you take notice, the dress is actually quite similar to my favourite outfit (of which I am sure all too)!

The tuxedo outfit by Maria Sharapova @ Wimbledon 07!

I am saying that because of the pleated part! The pleated part is so neatly done!

I love love love the transparent vest! Cute x97364365436546345

Oredi masuk my own fashion transcipt already lol!

I watched her matches just because I love her that outfit so much. It is so adorable and elegant. And can wear it to sports. And also casually.

Gosh this is the fashion I want man.
No need so much effort but look oh-so-good. Oh yes, comfy also lol.

Life is lidat huh?

And so, this time my dear beloved lappie had decided to give up on me for real.

Last time I could rectify the problem by doing intensive reading and research online until I personally think I have the gits to become an IT person because I read so much, even those irrelevant to my case.

But for this one, only those people at Acer's can help me out with this. Sobs!

I hope it isn't going to cost too much because actually my camera is spoiled too! I know I know!

What's with all this electronics giving up on me! My camera being spoiled, I can take it - because during my convo, BF kept taking pictures with it under the rain and every time, I looked at it longingly because it was soaking wet, drenched.

At one point, I asked the BF, "Since when is my camera waterproof?"

Because really, it was drenched in the water and BF didn't do anything to salvage it like wiping it after using it; that was it. And true to be told, during our Singapore trip, it started showing qualms. I didn't want to get it repaired until I got a job so that I can make the Canon trip myself and pay for it because I got the camera on my own without my parent's blessings, so this should be my responsibility.

BUT my lappie!

Was a real heartbreak! Because I took such gentle great care of it! And I don't know! Maybe noob that I am, maybe I changed some settings and did some damage to it, I don't know! But it's definitely spoiled now and I gotta entrust it to some Acer people to fix it now, sighhhhhh...

I have no idea how to tell my mom on this, because warranty just expired and it's just over one years old sheessshhh...

On another note, the lost of my lappie has made me realize that I had so much more time for other things. The other day, I catched US Open matches on 5 hours streak until 5.30 am in the morn and laughed in glee at House's episode on AXN gosh it's been a while since I stayed at home and watched TV already!

And then just just now, I tried to solve my sis's Add Maths questions *some sisterly effort to make sure that her future isn't jeopardized whatever la wtf*. IN REAL LIFE (meaning with my laptop around and well), I prollie have no such time at all! *laughs*

Ok la, wanna catch on federer this is so much fun! And this keyboard sucks i miss my laptop already sheessshhh... let's all pray together my job hunting agenda doesn't halt with this obstacle lol!

And I wanna say a community service to MCA/SUPP/Gerakan - IF YOU GUYS BLOODY FAIL TO GET THAT STUPID BUKIT BENDERA *UMBRO DIVISION GUY TO BE PENALIZED, YOU GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY SLAVES TO *UMBRO MAN!

*changed so that tak masuk ISA*

For GE8, we Chinese Malaysians have stopped voting for you because we felt like you are a failed mechanism to voice our complaints and comments! If you guys are seriously still wanting to indulge in denial-ism, here is the hard cold facts!!! Somebody just insulted, straight to your face, to hundreds to people - that you are a pendatang!!!

If you cannot get him squared, that's it folks.. Your opinion did not matter. Take it, because this is what YOUR leader is telling you now. Time to be 'frogs' folks!

When writing on inspiration fails...

Okay, if it isn't obvious, I have lost my ability to write anymore.

Or maybe I live a boring, dull live to be writing like a spirited 17 year old again.
Or maybe I just need a direction in life to be the better writer I was!
Yes, I am at that gray part of life where I have no idea what I wanna be, wanna do or wish to do!

All those times where teachers had asked us to write essays or class sessions to elaborate on our ambitions, inspirations and dreams have all gone to poof! somewhere.

I read those old posts I had in Xanga where I never had those haih or wtf or sien and where everything is pure English words in their glory and surprisingly, am stunned at the fact that I am able to churn off posts like that. I seriously lost the flair to do anything like that anymore.

But I feel obliged to update this blog.

Because it used to be a place where I can invent, reinvent, vent, curse, laugh and smile with.

I feel like I should talk about something Malaysian because National Day just passed.
But honestly, I feel like there's nothing more to say, to add, to comment or to defend.

We, as the rakyat should just let Malaysia run its own course, because we might not know what tomorrow have in store for. Maybe another sodomy allegation, or bombing of another foreigner (choi!) or stupid, silly comments coming from the people we believed were wiser than us which is why we voted for them in the first place.

Malaysia political arena has seriously failed to shock me anymore.

At least people like me, a normal citizen thinks.

I try not to think of Malaysia in its political context so that this post would be more upbeat and less despressing but the truth is, the political situation is very much involved in, practically everything.

I wanted to say things like how Malaysia is so unified and harmonized, but the truth is that only existed in my primary school where my best friends was a diversified sort and we all communicated in Malay and English. No offense to anybody I know but starting sec school, I learned about segregation of races.

I hung out with the Chinese, and they looked down on Bumi's - saying how they were pampered with gifts and privileges from the government, thus their successes.

I hung out with the Bumi's, and they laughed at the Chinese's kiasu-ness to win everything and their manipulative minds.

And maybe they had all forgot that I was born of parentage of the two diversities when they made comments of the sort.

I understand the relevant conflicts that both ethnics had to pertain for.

While they make fun and laugh at them, the part of myself that is still Bumi/Chinese sympathize with the one that they were making fun of; and cried foul that it was undeserving to be called out names for things that we cannot change, like being born to a certain race.

I didn't want anybody to know this but a small part of me rejected Matriculation because I refused to be involved of that duality of biasness. Maybe less in West Malaysia, but especially in East Malaysia - your chances of being selected is very high if you are a Bumi.

I do not want people to involve me in privileges that I *think* I do not deserve, because I was born to a Chinese father and I have a Chinese surname. The Chinese ego in me prevailed.

I can have a fluent conversation in Mandarin now, after years long of practice with my Dear BF. But I still can't communicate in my mother's tongues, Hakka and Bidayuh. I don't see why people make it a big fuss of it since practically, my BM and English would be stronger since my dad and mom converse in them?

I had only chances to practice them when relatives come over - and even that, at very chance encounters. Shouldn't it be unsurprising that I couldn't converse in them? My mom couldn't speak Hakka and my dad could't speak Bidayuh - so they didn't speak the languages to each other. I wasn't brought up with the languages!

Maybe a more profound proof is needed.Well, both are fluent in Hokkien, and that's why my Hokkien is commendable, although not fluent due to years of no practice.

But why is this an issue?

IT SHOULD NOT BE.

If we are all Malaysians? If we are all equals?

Because apparently, we are all NOT.

We all belong to one class, one race, one diversity. And that's why we have names for the other races in our own languages and dialects. And sinister, crude jokes about them.

We pretend to be prideful of our diversity and harmony but in truth, the only thing we enjoyed about them is that the mixture of cuisine we get to enjoy.

I dream of a Malaysia that is together, no matter of creed, race, colour, religion.

And then, maybe we won't be having duality in our constitution, or ketuanan, or Hindraf rallies.

So, why don't you tell me the truth...

Is it really un-Malaysian to be racially prejudiced or is that all we have been doing all these while?

HAPPY 51TH BIRTHDAY MALAYSIA!

I'll dream of your unity in my dreams...