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Uncomfortable whistles and teases!!!

This post is going to show through some of my (private) insecurities, but I am not going to care anymore. F--- everybody who might be offended, because right now, right this moment, I am the one who should matter.

This is actually a small matter, but I am going to make it big because I feel that small things like this should matter and should be taken note of so that the big things can be solved.

Most of you who follow my blog regularly knows that I walk to my workplace (i.e a uni) where I work as an Research Assistant. The place is 5-10 minutes walk, very near in comparison to the 30-minute walk during my uni days.

I admit, on the first few months I walked to work, I felt very dismissed - by everybody - my family and my BF. I felt that I needed a car to get me to work so that it's safer for me, and not forgetting more convenient.

But after seeing how my colleagues are staying back until 6-7pm to skip the jam because the jam outside our faculty was unbearable especially right after 5pm, I thought walking isn't that bad. I get to go back at 5pm and exercise as well, and everybody knows how much exercise I need. Plus, I found out that walking back is faster than travelling by car home. A walk home is approximate 7 mins max, car can get to 20 mins or more, depending on jam.

Plus, parking spots in my faculty is a bitch - colleagues has been complaining about parking at weird spots.

Now, on the way to work, I need to walk by this MPV Unit Station (Police).

I thought in the first few months that I am lucky that the centre is there because surely, my safety is more safeguarded with the unit in the middle of my track home.

Lately however the officers working there has been quite a pain in the ass. They kept on whistling and phewittt me while I walked past. And while I can waved them all off by ignoring their calls, it gets kind of irritating! And these are police officers!

If they are commoners, I'd probably show them a black face and stare them down but these are police officers! What would happen if I show them some negative body language that I wasn't pleased with whatever they are doing?

So, I chose to ignore. Everyday, I would pass by the station, get whistled at and walked straight without looking at them with my MP3 at full blast.

Then yesterday, when I was passing by their station, a MPV was on its way out of station. Instead of straight turning into the main road (it was clear), it was quite obvious the officer driver who noticed me walking towards their car, was waiting for me to bertembung with his car on my way. (sorry English quite bad now, can't think, still quite angry).

Here a diagram to show it clearer:

The grey path is the pedestrian path and as you can see, there will be a point where the MPV Unit road will overlap with the pedestrian's walk.

Now, I would presume, as a good driver (presume because I don't drive) that the driver should have moved a little front so that I don't need to walk around the car to continue my walk. But if I can guess, the driver was actually waiting for me to do that because he stayed at the middle of the path, exactly where I would have walked.

I didn't want to walk in front of the car, because I hated when how some naughty people do things like jerking the car forward like as if they want to hit you or blowing their gas real loud while you're passing by in front of them - and at that moment, I just thought I want to escape that so I chose to walk behind the car to get to the other side of the pedestrian.

And this is where I really boiled. I can safely say I can ignore all the whistles and constant teases, but I will not tolerate obvious gestures of kacau-ing me.

The bloody fellow actually hit the reverse gear and backed a bit, like as if he will hit me but the car didn't touch me at all.
I know it's just a naughty, playful gesture but I DON'T APPRECIATE IT, thank you.

And further more, they should have some sense in their mind that they are wearing uniforms and least of all, to make me, a citizen feel uncomfortable with their actions. I think it is quite obvious I am not amused by their antics with my constantly ignoring them, so why the constant provocation?

I told this to my BF yesterday, and as usual, his unsympathetic reactions are really getting to me. I've told him many times prior to this that I wasn't directly comfortable with the teasings and whistles but he told me that it's just something that I should bear since I didn't want to get up early to ask my brother to send me to work.

Maybe I am a little bit bimbo-ish or acting princessy, but somehow I think all man should safeguard the interests and most importantly, the safety of their loved ones, especially of the weaker sex. I do not expect him to fetch and pick me up from work, but I would like a little bit of shown emotions like anger or unjustification that this is happening to me, his GF, but instead I get this message that it's normal and something that can be taken lightly.

I AM FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE AND TARGETED ON, HOW IS THAT OK!?

This morning, while I walked to uni, they were banging against something and calling loudly to get my attention. I have no idea what are they banging against, because I didn't even want to look at those losers but I knew I was deeply uncomfortable after yesterday and today's, and something had to change. Can they even do those things in their uniform?

After not getting the reaction I want from the BF, I started turning to my guy friends. On why the need/ mentality of disturbing girls, what are the fun or benefits coming from it, how can the girl make it stop? Just because I am too rational to begin with and I am in research, so everything has a root cause.

Frankie actually suggested good things to me, like asking my parents to the centre and complained to the superior since he thinks that those who are disturbing me are young officers. Which I would consider but I don't want them to target me next time if I file a complaint against them since I need to walk by the centre everyday.

Another friend who I rather not name said maybe I should dress less noticeable in order to make it stop. When I told him I always have my jacket on with my jeans, he said maybe cause I am quite attractive looking, slim and all that. This is where I go WHAT THE FUCK!

So what if I am attractive looking!!!! Does it gives you the permission to whistle at me!? "Oh, she's attractive, phewitttt!!!??"

WHAT THE FUCCCKKKK!!!!

Wrong wrong mentality!!! And not forgetting people thinking that it's ok, but the person getting whistled at is UNCOMFORTABLE. So why would you do anything to make someone else uncomfortable!!!??

My point is, no matter how small the action is (whistling, teasing), it is an act of discomfort! Everybody does it, so everybody thinks its ok! But it should not be!

I want to feel comfortable walking to and fro to my place of work everyday!

And stop talking about "we are appreciating your beauty..." or "beautiful things are meant to be appreciated..." and all that shit, I DIDN'T ASK YOU LOW-LIVES TO APPRECIATE MY BEAUTY by whistling or teasing me!!!!

Obviously still mad at some stupid MAN's mentality!

FML Work moments

I have two people I would like to call "colleagues" (under the same boss, but doing different things). One is going to her second getaway trip soon and one just came back from a 2-week holiday. I have never taken leave more than a day max. A sick leave, that is. FML.

While clearing up my email inbox today, I found that 90% of my emails are work-related. Another 10% are emails from my suppliers making small conversations. FML.

I stick Post-It's on my work board to remind me of the tasks I have for the day and taking them down after I finished them. It's part of my effort to stay organized. Some of them had been there for ages, I had forgotten to take them down after I completed them. Now, I cannot remember whether I have finished the tasks or not. FML.

I wear T-shirt and jeans to work due to the nature of my work. Apparently this attire is "not professional" enough because the security guards at the uni I am working stopped me to ask me about my attire. FML.

I saw an ant crawling across the window shield of my work table and think what a field day he's having. FML.

A little tinge..

It might be the weather.

Or the cheese + egg with bread breakfast I had this morning.

But I somehow I knew that the deep sunken feeling I had isn't all that. Probably contribute a little bit to the severity of it, but isn't the main reason why it was there in the first place.

I feel sort of like, cheated - even though I knew that isn't anywhere close to how the situation is. I kept ransacking my brain of so-called English superiority back and forth for the word that can describe this feeling, this moment, the reason why this feeling is there.

What is it actually?

For the few months we have confided in each other, I would like to assume we are close. I doubted I have any other friends I have confided in as much as that person. A few, but the person definitely tops my list at some point.

It's just driving me crazy on how things should not be blown out of proportion, since all turns out well anyway. But how come I cannot get it out of my head on how the whole thing was handled, how it was insincerely (to me) gathered.

Why should I be the moral observer when I myself knows well that in many instances, I am not completely perfect moral-wise?

I felt a little tinge of betrayal, friend. I am sorry, but I know I cannot extinguish it quite yet. Maybe after I come to terms to it. Give me some time...

Filler

This is a random post to fill up my weekend post because I'll be too busy to post anything during weekends (I predict) Heh.

Unless I got a huge fight with BF and then wanna rant, then you're in luck *choi*

In case you forget how I look like *hur hur impossible! someone as gorge as me *kidding obviously*!

Me and BF

Must post this up because I will always look miserable posing from the right side, looking fat but this time, miraculously I didn't look fat! *or do I? /pleads*

And I like my hair color in the pic! Which is of course not my true color now. It's more like dirty brown now haha and the pic it looks red! Maybe I should color it red hehehe

On another note, this is my work desk now :_(

Those Post-It's on my board means things to do!!!!! :_ _ _ _(

I have a habit of writing down my tasks and then taking them down after completing them.

It's Friday la okkkkk why do I still have tons of things to doooooo FML.

My uni also have new decorations to "beautify" the whole place.


Fountain

Last but not least, Happy Father's Day, all fathers!

Father's Day dish @ Sushi King hehe

Have a great weekend folks! I know I'll be sleeping in mine! :-P

My SPA interview experience

I just went to a SPA interview this morning for the position of Pegawai Sains (Kaji Kuman). Apparently, Kaji Kuman is actually Microbiology (I had to look it up), while my degree is in Genetics & Molecular Biology. So I was surprised to be called for the interview. But I went nevertheless.

As of what my good friend Gilda used to tell me back in uni, to go for every interview just to gain experience in handling interviews.

That was my sole purpose of going there (maybe a little challenging the odds of securing a government job too la lol) because there is no way I can answer any Microb questions when my whole degree was on molecular biology.

And I was right, because I could barely answer the questions and I "urmmm" so many times I think I am annoying myself, what more the interviewers.

But what made me a little bit pacified was that I talked to nearly all my "competitors" (sizing them up by pretending to befriend them lol ) and I am the latest one to graduate from all of them. They all graduated a few years ago and most are working in fields that are not related to microbiology at all.

When I told them my fear about Microb questions, most of them looked kind of panicky as well. Truth is (they say), most of them forget what they have studied in their degree.

So far, I think only two of us are holding positions relevant to the job - one of them working in a pathology lab and me in university, doing research. Well, if only my degree is in Microb..... -_-'''

When the interviewers realize my degree is a different field (and there's a specific post for my qualification - Pegawai Sains Genetik), they looked a little bit passive and disinterested to interview me further :-(

It is of fact that I flunked the interview. The only way I could ascertain myself is other candidates did worst than me - maybe kept quiet the whole interview or something ROFL.

Well, not all is lost though. I met with this really friendly girl who I hit off with almost instantly. We even had breakfast together while waiting. Coincidentally, she is also a close friend of my colleague in my lab now, and we started gossiping about my colleague/her close friend (lol).

I honestly had quite a bit of fun there while waiting for my turn (the last for the post I interviewed for). I hear about people's previous interview experiences, what they are doing now, how much they researched for the interview etc

It was quite mind-opening when you are exposed to so many life's experiences and listening to them.

I am back in lab now, exhausted after a half day of waiting my turn but with an experience worth it.

P/S: Writing this because I find it kind of hard to find people writing about their experiences going for SPA interview, so here's my take :-) And no, I don't have tips, I am quite new to all these myself (some of the people there are already at their 4th or 5th interview)

P/P/S: Oh! and for those of you who are curious on why I still want to get a government position when I am doing my Masters! I have already started my "Masters" project but I have not registered with my uni yet. My boss said that the grant to support my project has yet to be acquired but he is sending out applications now - thus the "pending" status of my Masters registration! So, officially, I am not a Masters student yet :-P

P/P/P/S: In dire desperation need for a vaca! Can someone pls convince my BF to stop being a workaholic and bring me on a trip!!!! Grrrr.... Anyone successfully persuade him to do so gets a kiss!! MUahhhhhhhhhhhh...

OMG OMG...

I have found a goddess!

I think this is how goddesses really look like! Honestly, I don't think goddesses are gorgeous (not that I've seen one, just my presumption),in my mind I think they look pretty plain but instead they have this radiant glowing aura around them that you can't seem to take your eyes off them, ala that Mona Lisa painting!

I have found her, the Goddess of Vintage!

Of SallyJaneVintage fame!

I forget how I stumble into her blog but OHMYGOSH, once I stepped into her site, I was smitten for a good 2 and a half hours now and still GOING! She has somehow rekindled my love for vintage!

Among my favs (there's so many, I think I love ALL!)


The colorful frock in the middle
Sweet innocence!
The red dress and the middle ensemble!

She is soooo effortlessly fashionable!!

I have always loved the look of vintage but honestly, adapting it to my closet takes a little bit of courage. So far, I only have two vintage pieces that I truly adore and kept repeating on my "feel vintage-ish" days, but she has somewhat restored my belief in vintage can be so chic and current!

The true reason why I hated wearing vintage is because I always get comments from people like BF and people who are simple in their fashion taste, and that kind of put me off a little in my vintage hunt! But now, after viewing her site for quite a while, I feel like buying the whole lot from VintageBiri-Biri!

I feel so reinvigorated now after an initial sluggish Monday morning!

This is what fashion do to me, Alleluia! :-) More to browsing!